Welcome to Part two of a 4-part series where I chat with Danielle Dobson about her return to work success story. You can read part 1 here.
In this interview, Danielle opens up about the difficulties of transitioning to paid work, from finances to “love energy,” and shares her advice for moms returning to the workplace.
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Danielle: So, the thing about [transitioning to] paid work, it was hard. It took at least a year or two to actually accept that I was stepping into work again. I didn't want to have that responsibility. I wanted to keep doing my projects and not have to worry about the finance side of things. I mean, I did all the finances for my family — two countries’ tax returns every year. I’m comfortable with finances, but I didn’t want to have to be earning it only because I saw that it might jeopardize me being the best parent I can be. But I understand now that there is this other world that we can step into.
Anna: And it sounds like realizing for yourself that it was possible to also contribute to this human flourishing in the corporate world was helpful for you to connect into that as a way to work as opposed to this world of work that's only concerned about wealth and managing money and more money and shareholders’ wealth and making money for the company and stuff like that. So, it sounds like you were able to connect into a work world that aligned with your personal life.
Danielle: And the thing that I realize, too, and one of my research participants said, is that caring for others doesn't mean doing everything for others. We all care for others in different ways. And she said, “Love energy can exhaust you.” So, giving everything to your kids and your partner, if you feel like you're coming second all the time, then it's depleting. But if you can keep some of that love energy for others, and spread that love energy around where you don't feel that you're coming second, that then becomes an energy source. Recognizing that you are valued and your contribution matters in other roles, contributing to human flourishing in others, when viewed right, can provide a fuel source to help us give back to ourselves and our families. You’re getting a sense of value and contribution, because you don't often get that from your kids.
Anna: So what advice would you give to parents returning to work?
Danielle: Overall, the advice I would give is you're transitioning. You’re transitioning to a new stage and a new phase. So, don't fight the old one. Don't resist and fight and try to cling on to behind. Acknowledge you’re transitioning and stepping into a new world. Everything changes, and it might just be a reorientation rather than transformation, but things tweak. You’re moving into a new space. It’s totally okay whatever you feel in that, and adjust your expectations around it.
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This is a 4-part interview series with Anna McKay, Founder of Parent’s Pivot and Danielle Dobson of Code Conversations. If you are interested in learning more about how you can successfully pivot to paid work, contact Anna today.
