“Can you volunteer at the next elementary school fundraiser?”
“Are you available to babysit my kids while I run errands tonight?”
“I’d love to have you join this new community book club I’m starting. Are you free?”
“Mommy, can I have more ice cream?”
Are you a people pleaser? I know I am. Without any regulation, my default answer is “yes” to all the things. As a mom who cares about my community, the school my kids attend, my friendships, and of course, my children, there is a lot of pressure to please everyone, do everything, and somehow still handle the laundry. So sometimes…a lot of times…I have to say no.
But, us moms have the hard job of saying no when it’s not the easy thing to do, when it causes a meltdown, and when we just can’t keep going at our current capacity. Believe it or not, this is a skill that translates exceptionally well to the workplace. Saying no in order to protect a project, your team, and even your own work’s integrity is a skill that often brings new and exciting opportunities! Learn how to showcase this during an interview so that hiring managers take notice.
Why is it hard to say no at work?
When you reenter the workforce, you’ll face a variety of pressures and challenges that will put your people pleasing tendencies into high gear. You’ll want to make friends, keep your manager happy, and gain recognition and rewards for a job well done. Unfortunately, sometimes saying no is what is best for everyone, and you may be the person who has to say it.
Lucky for you, you’ve had plenty of practice. When your child looks at you with those puppy dog eyes and ice cream goatee and asks, “mommy, can I please have more ice cream?” You say no even though you want to say yes to that precious face. You say no because you have all of the facts: 1) more ice cream will boost their energy and have them bouncing off the walls later, creating more work and stress for you later. 2) they will get a stomach ache and feel awful later. And 3) you have their overall and long-term health in mind and don’t want to promote a sugar addiction.
This same strategy can be used at work. For example, if someone asks you to take on additional work for a project, you can assess all of the facts and make your decision with confidence. Perhaps you know that 1) this additional work won’t actually help the bottom line and therefore isn’t worth the effort. 2) That your current assignment will suffer if you take on more and therefore cause more stress for you later on. 3) you know taking on the work will mean overtime for you, which you are currently not approved to take (nor do you want to). And 4) you know how to provide alternative solutions.
Showcasing Your “Saying No” Skills During An Interview
So now that you know ‘saying no’ to more ice cream has prepared you for a return to paid work, it’s time to convince the hiring manager. Trust me, it won’t be hard to do if you are prepared and ready to promote your skill with confidence.
Here are a few easy ways to frame your skill and blow away your interviewer:
“I can clearly say no without beating around the bush”
This statement reveals your direct communication style, your no-nonsense approach to important topics, and that no one is going to misunderstand your response. Not only will this help when navigating co-workers and clients, clear and concise communication is a great leadership skill.
“I excel at providing alternative solutions.”
When your child was told “no more ice cream,” I’m guessing the response wasn’t an easy and calm, “Ok, I understand.” You had to come up with a distraction or offer another food option. At work, you will be able suggest other ways to help, or offer advice, to move forward without your direct help.
“I prioritize what is important.”
This is a highly attractive trait during the hiring process. To know how to manage your time and task list in a way that increases efficiency and productivity is a slam dunk skill! Saying no to something means you are saying yes to something else – something more important that will help you achieve the goals you are striving to reach in your position.
“I am respectful and considerate while also standing up for what I think is right.”
No one likes a pushover…nor do they like the office grouch. Just like you have to manage parental discipline with parental love, you know how to navigate conversations that end in you saying no with respect and consideration for yourself and others. That doesn’t mean that you’ll let things slide, but it does mean that relationships matter just as much as measuring success. This goes a long way towards contributing to a great work environment.
Build Your Confidence In Pivoting To Paid Work
While saying no is a great skill, it may be time to say yes to returning to paid work! If you’d like a partner to build your confidence and approach the job market with a strategy for success, contact me today to set up a free consultation. Let's strategically position all of your skills and experience as valuable assets that will leave you with a job offer.
