Debbie's Story - Return to Work from Her Perspective

A few months ago, we interviewed a recruiter named Brenda who hired a stay at home mom (Debbie B.) to work in her recruiting firm. I hope that you enjoyed reading about all of the benefits that Brenda J. experienced hiring Debbie B.! In case you missed any of those articles, you can find them starting with Part 1 on the Parents Pivot website here. Now that we have heard Brenda’s experience I thought that you all might like to hear from Debbie too! The interview has been edited to be concise.

Anna: I really appreciate you doing this interview with me. It was so insightful to get Brenda’s perspective on hiring a stay at home parent returning to paid work. She had wonderful things to say about you. I’m glad to have the opportunity to interview you and get the full picture. 

I love to hear from people who have gone back to work about skills they honed as parents that they use at the workplace. What was a skill that you used as a parent that helped you as a recruiter?

Debbie: I was heavily involved in my children’s extracurricular activities, the PTA, taught children's choir for years, and we were very active in our church. I was used to being around and dealing with a lot of different types of people. I had many friends who were all in different stages of life. This social comfort helped me in my recruiting job where I was just as comfortable talking to the CEO as I was talking to anyone else in the company. 

My job was to take candidates through the interview and application process. It wasn't difficult for me to learn how to do that because I was curious and interested in people. I was great at assessing people’s skill sets and matching them with appropriate jobs within companies. I believe that much of the job description is not in the job itself but in the person. Yes, you have to have the skills that the job requires, but I learned early on that an individual’s personality is so important. Some jobs require a reserved, diligent worker while others need a person who is able to interact with customers and other employees. I was the latter and just loved being a recruiter!

As far as the actual job description of meeting with companies and learning how to work with them, Brenda would come once a week and I would go out on call with her. I learned a lot from just watching and listening.

Anna: Having that experience in shadowing Brenda and seeing what she called “a day in the life” of a recruiter and then using all those people skills that you practiced throughout your life as a mom sound like it benefitted you in your work as a recruiter. What a great alignment of your experience with skills required for your job! For someone who's returning to work, what do you think is helpful in the on-boarding process?

Debbie: My was mantra: I can do it! When I went back to work, my kids were in high school and I was ready for the next phase of my life. I was excited. I was open to it. It seemed like a different world, but I found that once I was trained and I was on my own, I loved it. 

Think about your personality and find the right job for you. Recruiting was the job for me. You have to love working with people and I do. When I interviewed people re-entering the workforce, I could share with them that I understood their fears — we came from the same place; they were not alone. I could put them at ease and encourage them. I wanted them to leave the interview saying Debbie’s excited to help me get a job.

There's a job for everyone, but not everyone's for a job. You have to find your niche and understand what you are looking for in a company, its job and its culture.

Anna: What is important for stay at home parents returning to work to share in an interview? What would you not share?

Debbie: A good interviewer asks the questions that are pertinent to the job so it depends on what type of position you're interviewing for. There are many personal questions interviewers can't ask any longer. As an applicant, I would just be ready to answer the questions: What do you want to do? What do you enjoy doing? It's okay to say what you do not enjoy doing. Also, have your own questions ready for the company.

If you look through a job description and see that it requires a degree that you don't have, then don’t apply for that job. But it’s okay to let your recruiter know that you are interested in the position and those job responsibilities in case another similar job comes up that doesn’t require a degree. Everybody is looking for people. We never have enough people. If I interviewed someone for a particular position and they were not suitable, believe me, if we could use them in another area, we absolutely would.

It’s okay to say: Do you have anything else you think I'd be a fit for? Because that shows that you’re interested, open, and really want to go to work.

Anna: That’s a great idea. Clearly stating that you like the company culture or mission and, while this job may not fit best, describing what you might be a good fit for. Saying I have these skills and I like to do this and then asking if they know of any positions like that available within their company or another.

Debbie: Yes. We never presented a resume to a client until we interviewed the candidate. It’s our reputation on the line.  That’s why we do assess people on things like computer skills.

One more thing for people re-entering: Be professional. Dress professional. It is a different atmosphere today but you still want to look sharp. 

Be confident. You are going to make mistakes early on, but just look ahead and come up with some solutions. Don't be scared. If you have good people skills and you’re honest and upfront, (and use proper grammar!), then that will go a long way. 

Anna: What were some of the fears that you had about returning to work?

Debbie: My biggest concern was around my computer skills. I’d worked in an office setting for about 5 years prior to having a family. I knew that I could do it again, but so much had changed since then, especially with technology. I had had a lot of people interaction but computer skills were the tough part.

I had a call from another agency. They asked me to work in their offices on a project for 6-7 weeks. I started getting up to speed on their systems and technology. Starting out on a temporary basis was a great way for me to re-enter the workforce.

Anna: It’s great to know what your blind spots are and find a way to develop those through volunteering or getting a part time job or project work. The parents that I talk to often have other concerns too. They say: “What about my family that is used to having me at home and doing everything? How do I manage that transition?” Do you have any advice for people with questions like that?

Debbie: My kids were older when I returned. The challenge that I had was that my oldest didn't have a driver's license yet, so it was helpful to carpool with other families. There are going to be emergencies and you just have to have a back-up plan.

My youngest daughter is a school teacher. When she had her first child, she had to go back to work the last 6 weeks of school after maternity leave. She had a bad experience with the daycare and ended up asking me to babysit until the summer. It's tough when you don’t have a lot of flexibility. So #1, parents really need to hash out childcare options for emergencies.

The recruiting company that we worked for was a small company and we didn’t have a lot of flexibility. It made me really nervous. We couldn’t work from home at that time. But now, many companies offer remote work options. When you're interviewing, you need to know about flexibility. You don't want to just ask, how many sick days do I have. But you have to get a sense of what a company will allow. Also, come up with a backup plan for how you will manage and suggest workable alternatives. 

My daughters both work now. They are great moms. Megan works with children who struggle with math and science. It’s tough but that's her calling. She still makes time for date nights with her husband and for her girlfriends from college. It’s important to still do all of those things. I think that's what's hard for some women. They think that it’s not going to happen but it does. You make time for it.

Anna: Thank you so much. I know this article is going to be helpful for so many parents thinking of returning to work. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your perspective!

Understanding Your Why of Going Back to Work

As you plan to return to the workplace, you might feel scattered. Maybe you’re feeling unsure of the direction you’re headed or how this will all play out. Today, let’s work to put those feelings to bed. And it will be easier than you think.

The key to successfully transitioning back to the workplace in 2020 is knowing your “why.”

What is Your Why?

Your “why?” is your central reason for making the decisions you make. It drives your routine, your schedule, and your commitments. Consider the rules you’ve set for your children. The rules with a good, solid “why?” behind them are more successful. “Mommy, why can’t I play with the knives?” “Well, you’ll hurt yourself and we don’t want that!”  Simple, right? 

It’s no different for your goals. Ask yourself “why am I returning to work?” Narrowing down your “why” will ground your focus and help you stay on track as you make this big transition back to the workplace.

You’ll know if you have a good “why.”  Simon Sinek, author of Start With Why says it this way: “Regardless of WHAT we do in our lives, our WHY — our driving purpose, cause or belief — never changes.”  A good “why” will not change.

Finding your Why

Since finding your “why” is essential to success, it’s important to figure out your chief “why” as you begin your plan to pivot back to the workplace. What is your “why”? Does returning to the workplace allow you to give your children opportunities you wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford? Allow you to retire more comfortably so you can spend time with future grandchildren? Satisfy an outlet that you’re ready to return to? 

Think about these things and carve out some time to document your thoughts. Consider your overall goal that would be realized if you pivot to paid work. Write down personal reasons for returning to work, the ways this will help your family, and the ways this will help you. Focus on the positives. Circle the reasons and goals that resonate with you most. 

Then, list what types of jobs or careers help you focus on your “why.”  Are you realizing your “why” as you work a 40-hour workweek? Consider what types of jobs allow you to come home with energy to be a parent the way you want to be and which positions will benefit your overall career goals.

Finally, narrow your “why” to a short statement that answers this question: why are you returning to work? Your answer might look something like these:

• “I’m returning to work to allow us to expose our children to culturally enriching experiences, including vacations, sports, and art.”

• “I want to show my daughter the value of strong work ethic.”

• “Returning to my freelance work as a graphic designer and photographer will allow me to flex my schedule and help others with their branding needs.”

Focusing on your Why

When I was returning to work, I was thrilled to see my daughter’s reaction to my pivot to owning my own business. I am acting as a role model for my daughters by demonstrating courage in starting a business, making mistakes, and learning from them. That’s my “why.” My oldest daughter even created a magazine cover to show me how proud she was of me.

My daughters’ reactions to my return to paid work, paired up with my “why,” fueled my fire and encouraged me to plunge forward and upward. 

As you transition back to paid work, keeping your “why” in focus will help you decide how you’re going to proceed at every step, how to create healthy boundaries, and successfully design and maintain your work-life balance.

Finding your “why” is absolutely vital for moms returning to work after a career pause. Once you have put together your “why” for returning to paid work, check out all of the great resources we have available for you, including coaching support.

Mom Transferable Skills Prepping You For The Workplace

Many mothers who have taken a career pause have fears that they have become “rusty” when it comes to the professional world. Some skills are out-of-date, they now have an experience gap in their resume, and they have no idea what employers are looking for these days. The world changes fast, and it’s terrifying to jump back into the fast-paced rhythm of working professionals.

Whether you realize it or not, you’ve been training to get back to work throughout your career break. While these fears are understandable, it’s time for a mind-set shift. Let go of fear and embrace all that motherhood has taught you. There are dozens of skills that are transferable to the workplace, many of which may surprise you. 

Below you’ll find a list of ten transferable skills that most moms develop during a career pause. This list is not comprehensive, but will give you an idea of the amazing ways mothers can break into the workplace without missing a beat.  

10 Skills Motherhood Taught You That Transfer To The Workplace

1) Motivating employees - If you have ever tried to get a toddler (or teenager, for that matter) out of the house on a cold day, then you know that tapping into what motivates individuals can go a long way. Part of what motivates adults in the workplace is having trust through relationships with colleagues and managers. You’ve done that with your children and can use that success in the workplace. With trust and a mutually-respectful relationship, you’ll know how to motivate even the most challenging of people to do their best work.

2) Empathy - Science shows that when mothers are pregnant, our brains and social cognition changes to help develop and nurture our babies. In an article by Annie Brown about the study, she says, "it also prepares a mind, a brain for motherhood, and … these empathy and social cognition brain regions [in mothers to-be] became fine-tuned to be able to respond to their babies emotionally and to be able to understand and pick up their babies' social cues, which of course is what we need, we need parents to be able to do, to respond to their babies."  How cool is that! Our brain rewires to make us more receptive to developing skills for empathy during pregnancy! And as most mothers can attest, from the time our children are babies, we get lots of opportunities to practice empathy and hone this skill. Many parenting books talk about letting your child know that she is seen and heard. This message is as applicable to a frustrated toddler as it is to an overstressed colleague. Empathy is a highly sought after skill and makes stronger team players and leaders.

3) Budgeting - If you manage your household’s budget, you can confidently boast budgeting skills on your resume and in an interview. Knowing how to allocate the necessary funds to certain buckets of needs, without going over budget, is critical in the workplace. 

4) Strategic thinking - You can’t really be a mom without developing strategic thinking skills. Planning ahead regarding schedules, potential problems you need to prepare for, and keeping everyone from being at each other’s throats during hectic seasons are a benefit in many situations. If you’ve taken a road trip with the family recently, that alone probably provides enough evidence of your strategic thinking skills.

5) Research and problem solving - Remember all those times when you were up late reading up on parenting techniques, food and diet options for your little ones, extracurricular activities, and all the different school choices? You showed dedication to researching the best options and finding the best solution. Many jobs need this skill, and many employers have a hard time finding someone who can demonstrate this well. Share your motivation to uncovering solutions with a potential employer and you’ll be one step closer to landing the job. 

6) Saying no - Even the biggest people pleasers say ‘no’ to their children for the sake of their safety and health. Saying ‘no’ to a toddler who wants to eat candy will set them up to have good eating habits in the future. In the same way, saying ‘no’ in a diplomatic way to something that will be worse in the long run for a company is important for a manager to be able to do for the health of the business. Knowing when it’s OK to say no, and how to say it, will take you far in life, but also in your career. You can frame this skill as being confident in your role and knowing how to have the tough conversations.

7) Working with a team - If your children are school-age, chances are you have been involved in some sort of PTA, or school/community committee. This is an amazing experience for the workplace as it strongly demonstrates your ability to work well with a team. Did you help recruit volunteers for events, manage sign ups, or do event planning? Whatever experience you have in this area is easily transferable to the world of paid work– stick it on your resume! 

8) Fundraising - One of my clients does a flower sale through their kids’ school every fall and spring, and guess who is the one leading the fundraising effort for our family? Her! Even though her kids help, she is the one that leads the charge and uses her networking skills to find success with the flower sales. This is small scale compared to what many employers require in a professional position, but if you can demonstrate the skills it takes to fundraise: networking, building connections through relationships, and mining repeat and referral business, you’ll be high on the list of potential candidates. 

9) Coaching - Coaching is hard. When your child is struggling in the classroom or in sports, it’s your job as mom to coach them through it. What’s the issue? How does your child feel about what’s happening? What solutions can your child come up with to overcome the issue? What support is needed for success? Coaching adults isn’t much different than coaching kids, so it’s an easily transferable skill for moms to take to the workplace.  

10) Managing several projects at one time - Moms are the queens of managing multiple schedules and thinking ahead to make sure everyone is where (and when) they need to be. Not to mention the hard work of coming up to solutions for conflicting schedules. I had a return to work candidate tell me that the work that she did in her MBA logistics and operations class translated very nicely to the work that she did at home in that she mastered managing several projects/tasks at one time. This is project management 101 and a highly sought after skill in the workplace. 

This is just the tip of the iceberg for all of the transferable skills that moms can bring the workplace. Take some time today to think through the specific skills you’ve been developing while at home with your children. Don’t shy away from your skills. Embrace them and be proud of what you’ve accomplished.

If you’d like support during your transition to returning to work, Parents Pivot is here to help! Learn more about the resources available to you. 

6 Ways Mothers Can Balance Home & Work

What if you could work outside the home and still have a healthy, functional family life without the chaos and mess? Sounds like a dream, doesn’t it? I have great news for you... you CAN achieve that dream in 2020.

We all have responsibilities both inside and outside the home. If you’re considering a return to paid work after a career pause, adding new responsibilities may seem impossible without dropping a ball or two somewhere in the transition. The trick is to strike the right balance between the two, for the good of both you and your family. Here are a few tried and true methods that not only work for me personally, but also dozens of working moms that have gone through the transition period, just like you.

The Best Work/Life Balance Tips For Mothers

Plan, Plan, Plan! Being organized is a priority for any working mom. If organization doesn’t come naturally, there are many resources you can use to help. For example, choose a paper planner, like Planner Pads, that you love that will outline your busy schedule. Use your phone’s calendar to set up reminders for upcoming appointments and to-dos. Plan ahead as much as possible. 

Look for opportunities to synergize. Download this worksheet to identify your responsibilities at work and home and find ways to synergize the two. For example, if you have to run your child to a doctor’s appointment, but also have a report deadline coming up, you can work on the report in the waiting room. Or, if you find yourself checking email throughout your time with family, maybe activity batching emails first thing in the morning will help you focus on family when you’re home. By finding creative ways to be efficient with your time, you’ll be able to get more done in less time, without sacrificing family priorities. 

My friend Dave wrote a helpful article on productivity and mentions one particular service worth mentioning: followupthen.com. By bcc’ing an email address from their service, you can send yourself a reminder to follow up on emails so that you can send it and forget it until it’s time.

Set boundaries. If you work from home, designate a space to work where you can shut the door. Seeing your open laptop or paperwork during mealtime, for example, reminds your brain of all you have to do and will distract you from your family and home life. If you work in an office, do what you can to always make it home for dinner and silence your email notifications when at home. Keep work at work while you are at home so your family doesn’t feel that your time is divided.

Share what you are working on with your family. This sounds contrary to the last tip, but it’s not. Set boundaries to keep work at work, but don’t be afraid to share your work with your family so they know what is going on with you. Explain what you do at work, what projects you have going on, and any pressure you may be feeling. Being open with your family will bring you closer together and allow them to be a part of this new part of your life. This gives you the opportunity to model values for your children such as persevering through a challenge, making mistakes and working through them, doing work that you feel adds value, courage in trying new things, independence, etc.

Take time to show gratitude to those who support you in pursuing your dreams as a working mom. Your children and family are a great place to start. Write them a letter or have a special evening out and tell them how much it means to you that, even though it means change for them, you are able to work or start working.

Share your family with your colleagues. Within appropriate boundaries, don’t be shy about sharing your family life with colleagues. As a proud momma, telling cute stories, showing photos, and bragging about the latest family development is a great way for you to bring a bit of home to work, leaving you more relaxed and comfortable. I personally keep a note that my daughter wrote me when she was first learning how to write. It says “I love you mommy.”

Finding work-life balance is essential for moms returning to work after a career pause, and once you have it, it’s something to be grateful for! If you’re struggling to strike a good balance between work and home, we’d love to help you. Check out all of the great resources we have available for you, including coaching support, here. 

Lessons My Mom Taught Me Through Her Return To Paid Work

As a stay at home parent reentering paid work, you likely have many concerns: Should I go back to work? Will my children be ok? Our family is used to having me as the lead parent. How will everyone get along if I am working?

These are all valid and should be well thought-out. I had very similar concerns when I was returning to paid work. When I did make the leap, I reflected on my own mother’s return to paid work story and it has been a source of comfort and encouragement. If that is something you need at this point in your transition, I hope this story helps you too.

My mother started her own catering business in the 80’s. This was a profession born out of a love of food and a generous heart. My mother loves to cook. She has been entertaining friends and family with food for as long as I can remember. My dad used to tease her because instead of a novel or the latest beach read, she would bring a cookbook for her leisure reading on vacation.

Cooking was and still is my mother’s way of showing love to the people that she cares about. Like many stay at home parents that I talk to today, she wanted to feel the value of contributing her talents within our community. When my brother and I were 7 and 9, she felt like we didn’t need her as much on a day-to-day basis since we were in school. She had a supportive spouse in my father. He encouraged her to go back to paid work and do what she loved.

There are all sorts of studies that say working moms are good for the development of children. Especially daughters. As a daughter of a working mother, here is what I have personally witnessed and learned as a result of my mom returning to paid work when I was young:  

1)    If you love what you do and align your strengths and passions with something that your community needs, then you will be successful. My mom retired on a high note as one of the most sought-after caterers in our city. And she only relied on word of mouth for advertising!

2)    Time away from paid work is invaluable. My mother was a self-taught chef and spent more than 15 years perfecting her recipes with friends and family before opening her catering business. She used her time away from paid work, when she was focusing on me and my brother, to discover what drove her. And when she felt like it was the right time for her and our family, she leaned in. She pursued her dream and achieved her goals.

3)    A supportive partner goes a long way towards success. I am positive that I did not see all the highs and lows in my parents’ marriage, but I know this: they were very supportive of one another. I remember almost daily conversations where they would talk about each other’s work and show support by listening and asking questions. There were times that my mom would work during the evenings and my dad would be responsible for feeding us and getting us to and from school. They worked together to manage family life so that neither had to sacrifice their career. They truly loved and supported one another.

4)    Don’t waste your time with guilt. As someone who grew up in Burma (Myanmar), my mother doesn’t understand the American obsession with guilt. She felt it was a useless thing to preoccupy her time. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t care. She showed lots of kindness and care over the years, and in the end trusted that she did her best.

5)    Be resourceful. My mother served as a strong role model for me. Her stories of figuring out how to source a dish that had inadvertently been left in the catering refrigerator taught me about problem solving in a pinch. Her many hours spent planning and prepping for a party taught me about hard work. She shared her challenges and her successes with my brother and me at the dinner table so that we could know that things didn’t always go as planned but she, and we, could work through it. She was an entrepreneur before it was cool. She was building resilience and a growth mindset long before it was a thing.

6)    Support other women. Catering by Trish supported many other working mothers. Some of these women were stay at home parents returning to work. Some started their career in my mom’s business, some were able to work in retirement to earn extra money. Many women were able to support their own families through this work. There was always a sense of comradery and support at work. The work was flexible. Children were able to come in if they didn’t have school. We often worked in her business during the summer months when we were in high school.

7)    There is tremendous value in being a working mother. With catering, my mother worked a lot of nights and weekends, but she was always there for us when we needed her. I understood that my mom was contributing to our family to allow us to live the way that she and my dad wanted us to. I was and am still so very proud of what she accomplished as a woman running her own business. And that is what I hope to give my daughters as well. Someone to be proud of. Someone to aspire to be like. Someone who shows them how much she loves them and also shows them what it takes to own your own business.

For all of you stay at home moms feeling a pull to return to paid work, I know it can be daunting and scary but it can also be so rewarding and joyful! I benefited greatly and in so many ways from my mother working. My brother and I both lean on the lessons from our parents example as working parents in our lives today. We are successful in our professions and balance that with families of our own. I hope her story reassures you that going back to paid work can be a wonderful thing for your family. Your children will be ok, and you might even find more healthy collaboration within your family as a result of your return to paid work. If you have a story of your own return to work and what that meant for you and your family, then I would love to hear it! Send me an e-mail.

Returning to Paid Work: the Challenge & the Solution

Have you taken time off from paid work, want to return, but are having a hard time finding paid work? If so, then you are not alone. My name is Anna McKay, I am the founder of Parents Pivot and I would like to change this narrative. Throughout my years as an expat and after repatriating to the US, I have seen this phenomenon over and over. Brilliant women leave successful careers to move overseas with their partners or raise their children. They spend time contributing as leaders in their communities and schools. Despite their previous career success and contributions while away from paid work they are turned away from interviews and job offers. It shouldn’t have to be so hard. That is why I founded Parents Pivot to be a coaching and job search resource for parents returning to paid work and an on-boarding coach and return to work program developer for employers who appreciate the multidimensional talents of stay at home parents.  

Stats don’t lie - The return to work facts

There are many reasons that people may choose to take time off from a healthy career. Parents may choose to leave paid work after the birth of a child. The cost of childcare can be as much as a yearly salary which forces some parents to choose between staying at home and paying most of their salary towards childcare costs. People may be faced with caring for aging parents, a sibling or dealing with their own health related needs.

Consider this:

·      43% of full time highly qualified women choose to take a career break for childcare responsibilities.

·      According to a recent Pew research study, millennial parents are choosing to stay home more than Gen X parents.

·      93% of women who left the paid workforce say they would like to return.

·      Only 74% of the women who left their career were able to return to paid work through part time positions (24%), self-employment (9%), or full time employment (40%).

With so many mothers taking a career break, and then wanting to return, it’s clear that a path needs to be laid to get them to where they want to go in the next chapter of their career.

The challenges of returning to work

The path to returning to paid work is a difficult one for most stay at home parents. In fact, a study published in 2018 in the Harvard Business Review shows that a stay at home mother is ½ as likely to get a call back for a job interview compared to an unemployed mother who had been out of the workforce for the same amount of time.

The good news

The corporate world is waking up to this overlooked group of candidates. Human Resources teams are beginning to invite return to work parents in for interviews when the skills and value they’ve learned during their time away has been presented clearly. A few progressive companies have even introduced return to work programs that make it easier for both the employer and the employee to make the transition, but more programs need to be implemented. How do you make sure that you are ready for these return to work programs?

If you are a parent wanting to return to paid work, here are five steps to guarantee success:

1)    Tap into your skills, interests, and strengths from the beginning.

What did you love to do in your old job? What have you enjoyed doing during your time away from paid work? Spend time reflecting on this and talking with a friend or a professional coach.

After reflection, one particular coaching client told me she always wanted to be a teacher, but didn’t pursue that after college. That parent could have decided to go back to school and become a teacher, but instead she chose to incorporate teaching others within her established career field.

When people take the time to reflect on what they truly enjoy, they are able to tap into the skills that support returning to paid work and makes the transition process that much easier.

2)    Build necessary skills

Once you have considered what you want to do, take a look at what is missing from your skill set. Pursue contracted project work, volunteer experiences, or online courses to strengthen those skills and add to your resume. Proving to hiring managers that you are the perfect person for the job, even with a career pause, is essential for finding return to work success. 

3)    Shift your mindset

Instead of seeing your time away from paid work as a negative, think about how this might be a benefit. One employer of return to work candidates mentioned to me that these employees often brought a fresh perspective and challenged the status quo in a positive manner through the use of their emotional intelligence. Use that to your advantage. Think of yourself as valuable, and an asset to be pursued. This will transform your experience and your confidence. 

4)    Reach out to your network

Many stay at home parents have met a plethora of other parents through their children’s school, activities, or other community programs. Don’t be afraid to reach out and let people know that you are looking to transition back to paid work. Don’t assume that everyone knows you want to return to work. Talking with friends, neighbors, and community members is a great way to practice communicating your value and spread the word that you are back in the job market.

5)    Demonstrate your commitment

One of the biggest hesitations that I hear from employers is around the commitment level of the stay at home parent returning to paid work. It is a bias that all parents considering returning to work need to be address. If you follow the steps above and have confidence, then your passion for the work that you are pursuing will come through. In addition, communicate that contributing your skills and talents through paid work is important in your career aspirations. Relaying that excitement and commitment to your potential employer are key to helping employers get comfortable with knowing you are committed to returning to paid work.

Implement the strategies above. With more and more companies realizing the benefits of hiring talented stay at home parents returning to paid work, we will be able to change the narrative. The small businesses, corporations, and organizations who hire these stay at home parents returning to paid work will be enhanced because of their valuable contributions.

Parents Pivot is a coaching and return to work company that helps candidates reconnect to their careers with strength and clarity. We offer coaching and support throughout the job search and on boarding process whether this is figuring out what you want to do when you return to work, helping you with your resume and interviews, or coaching you through the transition back to paid work after 6 months or 16 years. We also help connect employers with highly talented stay at home moms and dads through return to work programs. Reach out to learn more about how we can serve you.

Our next Resume Rebuild online workshop is November 13. Sign up here. We offer a return to work program for individuals called THRIVE where we work through assessments and use other tools to help you connect to your skills and the value that you bring and employer, gain clarity around career options that are right for you, develop those tactical job search must haves like a resume and elevator pitch, and network with a community of like-minded parents returning to paid work. The next THRIVE return to work program starts in the spring of 2020. Sign up here to make sure that you are notified when registration opens.

Debbie's Story - Part 4 - On-boarding Returners

Welcome back to Part 4, the final segment of my interview with Brenda James, former Managing Director at Clayton Services. Here’s a recap of what we have discussed so far in case you missed it:

Part 1: We learned about Debbie, Brenda’s star return-to-work hire, and what transferrable skills Debbie brought from her experience as a stay at home mom to her work as a recruiter. If you missed that, then you can check it out here.

Part 2: Brenda shared some of the challenges that Debbie faced when she was returning to work. Check it out here.

Part 3: Last week, I shared some of the benefits that Brenda experienced in hiring a stay at home mom. Check it out here.

Part 4: In this article, we will discuss how employers can start to think about on boarding return to work candidates.

 Sign up for our newsletter to make sure that you don’t miss the next one of these articles. Here we go!

Anna: You've talked a lot about the return to work program that you set up for Debbie and other stay at home moms, dads, and caregivers similar to her. What kind of hiring arrangement was it with her in the beginning? You mentioned that it was a temporary arrangement. How long did that last and was she working full time part time?

Brenda: I was considering opening a remote recruiting office in the Woodlands which would allow us to add to our talent pool from that area. Debbie was the perfect fit for that role because it allowed her to gain knowledge, experience and confidence, while easing into the job and a new routine.  Starting in an executive suite allowed her some flexibility in her hours since she did not have client responsibility. It helped her and her family to adjust to their new normal and test back-up plans. She was hired on a Temp-to-Hire program which gave us both the opportunity to test the waters and allowed me some flexibility to adjust the requirements for this newly created position.  Fortunately, Debbie didn’t need much time to adjust. She was such a strong communicator and organizer that she never really needed a back-up plan. Debbie was so successful in this role that after 6 months I was able to make her an offer with the company that gave her a salary, commission and benefits. I moved her to the corporate office where she took on the dual role of recruiter/staff coordinator. In her initial role, she proved my theory about a remote recruiting office helping us to add a hundred plus extra candidates a month to our database. She also trained her replacement in the role.

The flexible arrangement up front was a good way for her to re-enter. We did a lot of focused training on the candidate side in the beginning which allowed her to really harness her recruiting skills and become so successful. I really dedicated myself to making sure that she understood what she needed to know in hopes of being able to promote her which I did. Debbie was able to get up to speed pretty quickly, she had more to offer, and I needed that. She started asking, to come into the corporate office more. She eventually became my operations manager and was my right hand training the sales people.

We were a small company and we had a great corporate culture. Yes, we needed people to be in the office because I ran with a fairly lean staff, but we learned how people could work remotely. I'm talking pre- cloud days, but obviously now that is more common. People can very easily work from home. 

It's just so crazy when I would talk to clients and they would say “Flexible work won’t work for us.” I would say “Why not?” They wouldn’t have a great answer. It seemed daunting to them, so they didn't always want to take the time to face that challenge, break it down, talk about what it would look like and also be willing to go through some trial and error. In my experience, a flexible work arrangement worked well. Employees could still be productive from home. Part of that was having a plan on the employer side: setting expectations, establishing trust, and saying this is what flexibility looks like at our company. A lot of it is about communication. And this is not just for return to work employees. This could work for others as well. If we look at 3% unemployment and less workers being born from that baby boomer generation, then we need to approach work with a whole different mindset. Companies and people have to start getting on the same page as to what that looks like and how it works.

Anna: I truly believe that too. There have been studies that show that employees are more productive when they are allowed to work from home at least one day a week. Communication and setting up expectations really go a long way towards making a successful flexible work arrangement.

What advice would you have for an employer looking to hire a stay at home parent returning to work?

Brenda: Really look at your assumptions and your unconscious biases. You are an employer, but at the same time you are a human being. Biases are there when you are hiring a return to work candidate or any other candidate. You statistically are likely to be a mother or father or to have had one.  Look at things from a different perspective. Don’t automatically assume that people that have taken a break in employment to raise their children are less concerned about their career. Because, it's simply not true.

Be open minded. Look the skill set that you need, whether it's education, certifications, software knowledge, or a certain skill. I understand there are some roles that a huge break in time might not work. But look at the bigger picture. If it's a role that doesn’t require a certification and the candidate has good experience that can translate to this role, then be open minded about that.

Look at your team. Where can this return to work candidate add value through some of those important soft skills and intangibles? What personalities do you need on this team? What's trainable? How much time can you spend training? You can get the right person up to speed if that person is coachable and willing to learn. 

Look at companies like Chevron who have phenomenal return to work programs that I venture to say are extremely successful because the mindset is there. In all my years of staffing, everyone always says it's hard but it's not impossible to hire good talent. The employer could be their own worst enemy if their expectations were not realistic or there were a lot of unconscious biases. They might say, “She hasn't worked in five years while she was staying at home with her kids so she's not for us.”

With that thinking, you just wiped out a huge pool of capital for your company.

Anna: Yes. These women are truly talented. All the women that I've worked with have been so highly motivated, well-educated and very talented. A lot of them have proven success in the corporate world prior to staying at home. And it seems like companies somehow step over that fact.

Brenda: It's so crazy when you think about it because education, work experience, and practical skills don’t just disappear if you stay home for a few years. As we spoke about earlier, in today's world, a lot of those women and men are keeping their skill sets up. They have certifications to maintain because they know they're going to come back to the workplace. They are continuing to network, staying up with the new trends, thought leaders, and skill sets that are shaping their industry.

Anna: Yes, exactly. That’s a great thought on the employer looking at their own assumptions and biases. Just like the stay at home moms and dads need to review their mindset when heading back to work. Employers may need to take a look at their own ways of thinking. You also mentioned earlier about companies really looking at their job descriptions and seeing whether it is really a list of must haves or just a wish list.

Brenda: When I dig into those with employers, I will talk about each item and particularly the ones that don't seem to fit the particular position. Let’s take something as simple as computer skills. They will list a need for proficiency in PowerPoint. I'll look at the job description and think to myself where in the world are they ever going to use that in this position. When I ask the client, they usually say “I don’t know”, or “I just feel like we need someone who's strong everything in the Microsoft suite”. I ask them to tell me what the employee is going to do on PowerPoint. Sometimes they will say, “Well honestly, I'm not sure that they aren't going to use it” or “that was the way that the job description was written last time we looked for someone to fill this position”. Maybe there was a time that this was used and now it's not because that part of the job has been redirected somewhere else. Re-evaluate your must haves for a job description.

The next thing I do is take them through “a day in the life” with the person who currently holds the position or a coworker if available. Oftentimes, the hiring authority doesn't know what a day in the life looks like for that employee in that position. I get the employee’s input on what percentage of time that they spend on this and what does that look like. So really trying to get the important tasks defined if the hiring managers themselves don't really know.

Anna: Well, thank you so much Brenda! There's a lot of great information here and I know this article is going to be so helpful to parents returning to work and employers who would like to hire them.

This concludes our 4 part series with Brenda James. Are you a stay at home parent who wants to return to work? Reach out to us to help you return to your career with strength and clarity. Are you a stay at home parent who has returned to work recently? We would love to hear your story. Reach out to us. Are you an employer interested in hiring a return to work candidate? We have a talented pool of stay at home moms and dads looking to return to work. Reach out to us to find your next hire.

If you missed our previous discussions with Brenda they you can go back and read them here. 

To stay in the loop with great articles, events, and workshops to help parents return to their careers with strength and clarity, join our Parents Pivot newsletter here.

Wishing you all the best!

Anna

Parents Pivot works with parents returning to work to help them reconnect to their careers with strength and clarity. We offer coaching and support throughout the job search process whether it is figuring out what you want to do when you return to work, helping you with your resume and interviews, and coaching you through the on boarding process in your new career. Reach out to learn more about how we can serve you.

Debbie's Story - Part 3 - 5 Benefits of Hiring a Return to Work Candidate

Welcome back to Part 3 of my interview with Brenda James, former Managing Director at Clayton Services. Here’s a recap of what we have discussed so far in case you missed it:

Part 1: We learned about Debbie, Brenda’s star return-to-work hire, and what transferrable skills she brought from her experience as a stay at home mom to her experience as a recruiter. If you missed that, then you can check it out here.

Part 2: Last week she shared some of the challenges that stay at home parents face when they are returning to work. If you missed that, then you can check it out here.

Part 3: In this article, I will share some of the benefits that Brenda experienced in hiring a stay at home mom.

Part 4: Next week, we will discuss how employers can start to think about on boarding return to work candidates.

Sign up for our newsletter to make sure that you don’t miss more great articles like this. Let’s get started!

Anna: So that brings me to another question. What made you decide to hire Debbie over other people who had not taken a career break? What made her stand out?

Brenda: Well, all of those intangible things that I mentioned earlier. She had a lot of common sense and people skills. I enjoyed talking to her. She was funny. She was curious and insightful. She was smart. She was organized and a great problem solver.

And I think I'm a little unique in that, running a small company, I can’t always afford to hire someone with the skill set or experience that I needed at the beginning. I had to be very adept and open to training and developing people. This worked out very well for me because I could find people and develop them to our corporate culture and the way we do things. Certainly, I could find people that fit what I needed, came with experience, and didn’t have a gap in employment. Often, they came with their own set of problems and biases. I spent more time retraining because they had preconceived notions and skill sets that didn't work in our culture. It's funny that you said that Anna because I hired people that were re-entering the workforce so many times and I found that I had this sort of blank slate (Benefit 1). If I was hiring for the intangibles, the things that couldn't be taught, which I had identified in my company like intelligence level, willingness to learn, coachable team players, sense of humor, right people skills, common sense, and the ability to problem solve, then I hired an excellent employee.

The ability to interact with people was one of the things that wasn’t on a resume and was harder to teach (Benefit 2). I could teach people skills like how to get on LinkedIn and recruit people. All those intangible traits that I just listed are really hard to find. Did I have to teach Debbie how to recruit and how to find candidates? Absolutely and I did, and she taught me a lot.

As I told you earlier, she ended up teaching me new things, because she came with a very fresh perspective (Benefit 3) that she would not have had had she not taken a career pause to stay home with her children. She was very open to learning and sharing her insights. She would say “What about this?”  So many times, her suggestions were incredibly insightful. It came from her background and experience and it was a very fresh approach to how I looked at things, or how we looked at things as a company. For that reason, I really believe in return to work programs.

Sometimes people will just keep going from job to job without taking time to reflect in between jobs and to evaluate why they left or what happened. When people return to work like Debbie, there is a fresh perspective where somebody else may have blinders on and didn’t see it. It could be staring the company right in the face. It takes someone coming in with a new set of eyes watching things instead of an industry insider who was so entrenched in the day to day.

Anna: Yes, I totally agree. I have seen this with my clients.  When parents take a career pause and use the time to reflect, then they can really get connected to what they want professionally and be so eager to return (Benefit 4). They have that kind of energy that somebody who's been in the workforce consistently doesn't have. Like you say, that fresh perspective because they have been out doing different things gives them a unique vantage point to question and point out norms that may need to change. This can be so beneficial to the company’s hiring these return to work candidates.

Brenda: That's funny you said that because I spoke with a friend who owned her own business for years and she shut it down, retired, and then found herself needing to go back to work. She took a position that was a business development role. I always knew her to be an extremely confident person. She owned her own company was very successful. And when we spoke, I was very surprised, to hear that she was scared.

She said, “I find myself in a different role. I'm not calling the shots. I'm on this side of the table in a different level of sales than what my company did. I really feel the need to prove myself.”

At the beginning, she was just on fire. The people at her company were blown away by her work. It was funny when we spoke after she had been there a month, she said, “You know Brenda, I was so fearful. I wanted so much to prove myself that I really came in with this mindset that was so focused and laser about how good I wanted to be (Benefit 5). And then after a period of time, I started kind of relaxing because what was amazing to me was how complacent so many of the other team members were. I was trying so hard and I was working at 150% capacity, and when I looked at some of them they're working at like 80% capacity.” As a business owner, she just came in and brought the fire. That’s the kind of mindset that a lot of return to work candidates bring.

Thank-you Brenda for pointing out so many great reasons why return to work candidates can be excellent hires. What are some of the experiences hiring a stay at home parent returning to work? What stood out about those candidates? What did they bring to your company? Send us an e-mail or add in the comments below. We would love to hear from you!

We have one more part to share! Stay tuned for part 4 where we will discuss some ways that companies can start to think about on boarding return to work candidates. If you missed parts1 where we talked about the transferrable skills from parenting to paid work, then you can check it out here. If you missed parts 2, where we talked about challenges that stay at home parents face when returning to paid work, then you can check it out here.

To stay in the loop with great articles, events, and workshops to help parents return to their careers with strength and clarity, join our Parents Pivot newsletter here.

Wishing you all the best!

Anna

Parents Pivot works with parents returning to work to help them reconnect to their careers with strength and clarity. We offer coaching and support throughout the job search process whether it is figuring out what you want to do when you return to work, helping you with your resume and interviews, and coaching you through the on boarding process in your new career. We also help connect employers with highly talented stay at home moms and dads returning to work. Reach out to learn more about how we can serve you.